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What is your greatest fear?
My biggest fear when I was younger was frogs. I would give anything to have that be my biggest fear again. Then Buffy came to town and with Jess' death opening my eyes to vampires, my fear became being turned into one. I faced that fear, and believe me you don't want me to be a vampire. I'm skanky... and insane. Insane skanky Willow is not a pretty picture.
Unfortunately, it's no longer frogs or being vamped that haunts me. It's the fear of turning to black magic again. It's a constant struggle within me. I thought after activating all the Slayers and with all the white magic pouring inside of me, the struggle would be over. It isn't.
Fearing going over to the dark side is huge, but if I were honest with myself it goes much deeper than that. I have a fear of using magic again for everything. Every time I do something I think how easy it would be to just do a spell. But like any addiction, I know one sip will lead to a drink which will lead to a binge. I can't not work magic. The fight against the First Evil proved that, and with Giles' help I can 'control' the need for it.
In the back of my mind is Rack's voice telling me how much I love the power. It's seductive, but I've been able to ignore it... so far.
My biggest fear when I was younger was frogs. I would give anything to have that be my biggest fear again. Then Buffy came to town and with Jess' death opening my eyes to vampires, my fear became being turned into one. I faced that fear, and believe me you don't want me to be a vampire. I'm skanky... and insane. Insane skanky Willow is not a pretty picture.
Unfortunately, it's no longer frogs or being vamped that haunts me. It's the fear of turning to black magic again. It's a constant struggle within me. I thought after activating all the Slayers and with all the white magic pouring inside of me, the struggle would be over. It isn't.
Fearing going over to the dark side is huge, but if I were honest with myself it goes much deeper than that. I have a fear of using magic again for everything. Every time I do something I think how easy it would be to just do a spell. But like any addiction, I know one sip will lead to a drink which will lead to a binge. I can't not work magic. The fight against the First Evil proved that, and with Giles' help I can 'control' the need for it.
In the back of my mind is Rack's voice telling me how much I love the power. It's seductive, but I've been able to ignore it... so far.
